We Provide the Catalyst to Bridge Disconnection in Our Digital World

The Tissue Boxer

Men, I have the perfect foil to your public restroom rest-stops for the rear-end.
After nature came-a-calling, and the shitty deed is done, here is a new wipe-clean method you can use in the
ritual unwinding of the toilet-paper roll. 
And since we don't get up from the toilet until the asshole’s done, why not make it easy on yourself and fun? 
If you got to wipe, why not swipe in style? 
Do the deed - elegantly
And it's simple
Follow along:
All you have to do, initially, is be able to tighten up those hip flexors in just the right manner, and then be able to keep it up for as long as the butt is parked. 
More importantly, your boxers - regardless of your own individual style or textual flair - your boxers are standardly equipped with the most convenient way to get it out, pointed, and ready to use at any available urinal with bare minimum fuss. 
This simple slit in the boxer’s fabric is especially handy when your bloated bladder is near to bursting - it's a quick zipper pull down, and out it comes. Voila! Here's Johnny! Pluck and serve. 
Genius! 
But it's the convenience of this hole that allows us to use our boxers in another special, ingenious way: as toilet-paper dispensers. 
Yes, that's right, a bona-fide, patent-free way to ensure ease, efficiency, and elegance.
Comfort available to men through boxers. 
And now, the droll routine of cleaning up the backside will never be the same. 
All you have to do is follow these very
simple steps:
Step 1:
Make sure your legs have the ability to lock in place over the course of wiping. One just never knows how long our Asshole plans to hold us hostage to the toilet. Thus, being at Its mercy, your legs had better be strong for this exercise.  While promising, this novel method does include a wee bit of effort.
You’ll understand in a moment. 
Step 2:
Take the toilet paper roll and place it in your lap. Pull your boxers up to the armpits of your knees. Then spread your knees. Do so tightly against the inside seam of your boxers. Now hold. That's your toilet paper roll holster. 
Step 3:
Take your toilet paper roll and secure it snuggly on the butt-side of your boxers. This will act as a suspended holder in the cup of your boxers.
(Warning)
Please do not deposit the toilet paper roll inside your boxers if you hahaha have accidentally shitted yourself. Why waste a whole roll of toilet paper like that - putting it in a pile of crusted shit? If shit-free, put it there.
Step 4:
This step requires a bit of engineering on your part, yet it's still so very simple. Take the end sheet and maneuver the tissue through the boxer's peepee hole. (The setup should remind you of a Kleenex box.) Pull out enough sheets and start wiping. You can adjust how many sheets you need by pulling much or little through the glory hole.
(Note)
Unfurl with care though. Be sure to keep an eye on the toilet paper roll as you unroll it in the backseat of your boxers. Otherwise, the roll will occasionally roll right out. The cause is usually attributed to the slack in your knees. This is why your hip flexors need to be strong. 
If you follow these simple directions, then wiping with elegance can be yours.
Wiping your Ass will never be the same. 
On another note, hopefully your asshole won't keep you hostage long.
If it does, however, seem like it's going to be a never-ending wiping situation, please don't hesitate to take charge. Do what I do: just leave it for the shower. 
Afterall, what's a little left-over shit on the Asshole’s mouth until shower time?

Leave a comment